It's been a few days since I've been here. Things here have just been blah! We had a death in our community. A shocking passing of a beautiful young girl. I didn't know her personally, but when you live in a small town like mine, you "know" everyone. Her aunts are long time friends since elementary school and their loss is everyone's when the community is so close. To add to the pain, my father was admitted to the hospital for possible heart problems. He has had heart issues beginning in his 40s with a bypass 3 years ago, so every little thing, could be huge. We waited for news for 2 days, and they finally sent him home last night after testing and evaluation, and had determined his heart was fine. Spending all that time worrying about him, and praying for the family who lost their young girl, really puts life into perspective. God gave us this body. Not to harm it with neglect, food or anything else. He gave it to us to live a life worth something. We only have one life to live, and it can be taken away from us at any moment. Without notice. Since beginning my journey to find myself, I have been trying to live a more honest life. Trying to be true to myself. If you want to do something....do it. If you need to say something.....say it. Life is to short to hold onto hate, anger, and all the pettiness that comes with being a women. Life is to short not to do things you've always wanted to do. I got my first tattoo at age 49. I've always wanted one, so why did I wait so long? Fear of judgement? Fear of the needle? Why fear life when it is so precious? I've always wanted to walk around the beach with just my bathing suit on....without a long bulky cover-up getting in the way. So why don't I just do it? Who cares what other people think. As long as you are happy that is all that should matter. Right? Right! We need to start living life how we want to. Not how we think others would want us to live it. This year I've been better about this. Dang it I should be doing what I want. Wearing what I want. Saying what I want. I could be gone tomorrow and then I would have missed out on all the things I wanted to do but was just to afraid for whatever reason. There is an wonderful saying that I saw one time. It goes, "Life is short, buy the damn shoes". That's how I want to spend the next 50 years of my life. :)
"When I'm an old woman, I shall wear purple.
With a red hat which doesn't match,
and doesn't suit me.
I shall spend my pension on brandy
and summer gloves and satin sandals,
and say we have no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
and gobble up samples in shops
and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens.
And learn to spit."