Welcome to my little place!
My blog was started to help me come to terms with turning 50, to find myself as I become an empty nester, and to help me with my weight loss journey. (Update Here)
I am in an amazing place in my life so now follow me as I move forward with the good and the bad, my continued wieght loss journey and just my life!!

Monday, April 6, 2015

Oh The Shame.........

Happy Easter Monday!!  Due to the busyness of Easter, it's been over a week since I've been here.  I have been a little over the top eating.  As I've stated, chocolate is my down fall.  I purchased my candy early, knowing that I was strong enough to not eat it until Easter.  OH BOY.....what a mistake.  Not only did it cost me physically, it also cost me money because after I ate, I had to go back and replenish all the baskets that I had gotten into.  Normally, I would be feeling really bad about myself.  I really don't.  I've learned that I am human and we make mistakes.  We slip up and do stupid things, and that is normal.  Emotionally I don't feel bad.  Physically....Yuck!  I feel tired, bloated, nauseous, and even my fingers feel fat!  Not only did I over do it all week on chocolate, but food as well.  I have been fighting a stomach bug and have been feeling nauseous off and on, so when I feel like eating, I just have been grabbing those comfort foods.  I hate feeling this way.  My whole body is out of whack.   The sicko part of me likes feeling this way.  It's a good reminder when I am tempted to binge.

My kids baskets :)  The Easter Bunny still stops here.  No matter what age, when holidays approach,  I still think of my 3 as little kids.  It's hard to let go of that image and feeling.   Yesterday was probably my first "adult" Easter.  Greg and I woke up, had coffee.  I went to Mass the night before, so I just had to get ready for our dinner.  Greg left and went to work to work on our taxes, all while Dominic slept.  He finally woke at 1:00.  I remember the Easters when the kids would barge in our room and wake us up eager to find their baskets.  Those days are gone.  Around noon, I called my sister to sob to her about how things have changed and it just didn't feel  like Easter at my house.  She felt the same way, as her son is older as well.  After we spoke, I realized that this is how it is supposed to be.  I am just grateful for the memories we made and the fact that I was a good, fun, attentive mom and I have absolutely no regrets :)   That made me feel better!!

Anyway, I am back to face the music.  I didn't realize how much blogging has been helping me until I haven't done it in over a week.  I feel like I am in more control putting it out there, even if no one is reading it.  I feel like I do better with my eating and my exercise when I am blogging during the week.  It's mental, but it works :)

And there it is.   On March 16, I was 202.8.  That is a  8.6 pound gain.  At first, I didn't want to admit to this.  I thought well, I'll do really good this week and lose.  Then I thought about how happy I will be when I do take it off, and I couldn't have shared it with you.  So I decided to humble myself and show it in all it's glory.  Ten days of no blogging and being off track because of my virus and then just Easter food.  A solid 5 days of chocolate and this is what I have to show for it.  I know some of it is water because I feel really bloated, so that will come off first, but the rest...it just amazes me how quickly I can gain when I'm not watching.  I did some research and I found this paragraph....."In order to gain weight, you'd have to eat 3,500 additional calories to gain a single pound."   I know for a fact that I did not eat that many additional calories each day.  So what is the reason for my quick gain??  The only thing I can think of is that my metabolism is so out of whack that I just gain more easy?  I don't know for sure but that sounds good to me.  Does anyone have this problem?   Does anyone have any answers?  

Anyway, it is what it is, and just being here and being honest is helping me feel more determined to jump back on and get back on track.  The first step I took this morning was I went to the gym.  I haven't been in a week because of my virus.  It felt great to be back, even tho I could only do 20 minutes of cardio because I felt so yucky from all the junk food still in my stomach  :)   I still felt good going and it's helped me stay away from leftovers so far :)   I read a quote regarding exercise that really spoke to me........."Never Miss A Monday"  I am determined to follow this.  It really helps you start your week on the right track!!!


"What you do every day, 
matters more than what you do once in a while." 


1 comment:

  1. We've all been there! I gain weight SO fast and it takes me forever to lose weight! You've got this.