I don't mean to be yuck today, but with my birthday tomorrow, July 4th being today and the book I am reading right now, I just can't snap out of my little spot of yuck and sadness. Ok, so, let me break it down for ya.
My birthday is tomorrow. The fact that I am turning 50 never bothered me, but now that is it here, I am realizing that I AM 50. When did that happen?? How fast does life go by?? The fact that my youngest is turning 20 this year just makes me want to cry. I AM 50. I used to think that was old. I don't feel old. I don't feel like I look old. I know it's not old....never the less....I AM 50.
Today is the 4th of July. I remember when our kids were little, dressing them up in matching red, white and blue outfits, going to picnics, having picnics, or just spending the day in the pool together. Today, Greg and I spent the morning on The Sanctuary drinking coffee and watching the birds. I then went to the beach, alone, and took in all the beauty Lake Erie has to offer, reading and laying in the sun. Now I am home and getting ready to order pizza and settling in to watch Game of Thrones with Greg. It makes me a bit sad. The kids are doing their own thing, and we had a little family picnic at my nieces yesterday so today just seems like any other Saturday, except I didn't have to work.
My view this morning.
Beautiful Finches on the feeder.
My view this afternoon.
Beautiful blue Lake Erie.
I am reading a book The Daughter , on my Kindle that sounded really good....a thriller, but actually it is making me really sad. I keep thinking about the mother in the story, and how she is dealing with her teenage kids drifting away, not to mention her daughter turns up missing. I should have realized it would be sad, but those type of books never affect me like this one did today. I was reading it this afternoon at the lake and I started crying...right there, sitting by myself...feeling sad about my kids. UGG!! I will probably love it once I snap out of this yuck. It's just my melancholy state, missing my kids, and realizing that....Yes...I AM 50.