Sometimes I just want to scream, "enough!"....."I'm done!"......"Stop the insanity!" Does anyone out there remember Susan Powter? She was a nutritionist and author in the 90's that had the catchphrase "Stop the Insanity!" that she used for her weight loss infomercials. Anyway, I am feeling that way right now. For the past 29 years, I have counted calories, counted fat, omitted carbs/sugar, starved myself, and even had a short bout with bulimia. I have tried diet pills, diet shakes, Weight Watchers, Atkins, "the eat no fat diet", "the eat every other day diet", all in the name of losing weight. I am tired. I am tired of constantly thinking of food. Constantly worrying about not being able to go out to lunch because there is nothing I can eat. Constantly not eating what everybody else eats, only to go home and eat it anyway and more. Food is the first thing I think of when I wake up. Food is the first thing I think of when we plan any outing. What will I eat? Should I go off plan for the day? UGGH. I am tired. Tired of having a bad relationship with food. Food has always been my enemy, when it should be my friend. Food is a wonderful way to relax with friends. Breaking bread is one of the oldest practices around. Sharing food, conversation....why is that a bad thing? Why?? Because I'm not supposed to eat bread!! It is the enemy!! Food is the enemy!! I'm beginning to think that if I change my relationship with food, then maybe I wont be tempted to over eat, or eat all the wrong things. I think if I stop putting so much emphasis on what I'm going to eat, then maybe things will start to change for me with my weight.
What I am doing now is defiantly not working for me. It's time to mix things up.
Here is my plan for the next 2 weeks.
Yep, here she goes again, making another statement :)
Trying to take the emphasis off the numbers.
Too much obsessing.
*No tracking my daily food*
I know whats right and wrong to eat. I know portion sizes. I know the food pyramid. I know practically how many calories are in every food. Sometimes Greg is finished eating, and I am still "plugging" my food into myfitnesspal, then I'm eating alone and shoveling it in with out thinking.
Too much thinking about food!
*No diet foods*
For me, this is scamming the system. How much low or no calorie things can I eat so I can eat more.
Too much processed food!
*Eat what Greg eats for dinner*
I hardly ever eat what Greg eats. I make my little "diet" food. Most of the time, I think I cant have what he's having, but in reality his meals are probably the same calories and defiantly more filling, physically and mentally than mine. This might help me not to binge on things "I can't have".
To much emphasis on the words "I can't eat that"!
*Eat when I'm hungry, but 3 times a day, sitting*
This one is hard. Believe it or not....I'm never hungry. I have to force myself to eat most of this time. Now, when I'm off plan, I can eat like no other, but when I'm watching, usually only eat about 3-4 hundred calories all day until supper time. I know I have to eat to lose, so three good solid meals a day, sitting and slowing enjoying and I shouldn't be tempted to over eat later in the day, and it will help my metabolism :)
To much telling myself, I need to eat!
I am hoping that this will change my relationship with food. I am just tired of constantly thinking about what I should eat. Tired of thinking about what I shouldn't eat, and tired of thinking about when I should eat it.
Sigh......I feel less stress already :)
"Ain't you tired, Ms. Hilly. Ain't you tired?"
~"The Help", Aibileen Clark