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My blog was started to help me come to terms with turning 50, to find myself as I become an empty nester, and to help me with my weight loss journey. (Update Here)
I am in an amazing place in my life so now follow me as I move forward with the good and the bad, my continued wieght loss journey and just my life!!


Friday, September 11, 2015

Just Tired



Sometimes I just want to scream, "enough!"....."I'm done!"......"Stop the insanity!"  Does anyone out there remember Susan Powter?  She was a nutritionist and author in the 90's that had the catchphrase "Stop the Insanity!" that she used for her weight loss infomercials.  Anyway, I am feeling that way right now.  For the past 29 years, I have counted calories, counted fat, omitted carbs/sugar, starved myself, and even had a short bout with bulimia.  I have tried diet pills, diet shakes, Weight Watchers, Atkins, "the eat no fat diet", "the eat every other day diet", all in the name of losing weight.  I am tired.  I am tired of constantly thinking of food.  Constantly worrying about not being able to go out to lunch because there is nothing I can eat.  Constantly not eating what everybody else eats, only to go home and eat it anyway and more.  Food is the first thing I think of when I wake up.  Food is the first thing I think of when we plan any outing.  What will I eat?  Should I go off plan for the day?  UGGH.  I am tired.  Tired of having a bad relationship with food.  Food has always been my enemy, when it should be my friend.  Food is a wonderful way to relax with friends.  Breaking bread is one of the oldest practices around.  Sharing food, conversation....why is that a bad thing?  Why??  Because I'm not supposed to eat bread!!  It is the enemy!!  Food is the enemy!!  I'm beginning to think that if I change my relationship with food, then maybe I wont be tempted to over eat, or eat all the wrong things.  I think if  I stop putting so much emphasis on what I'm going to eat, then maybe things will start to change for me with my weight.

What I am doing now is defiantly not working for me.  It's time to mix things up.

Here is my plan for the next 2 weeks.
Yep, here she goes again, making another statement :)


*No scales*

Trying to take the emphasis off the numbers.  
Too much obsessing.

*No tracking my daily food*

I know whats right and wrong to eat.  I know portion sizes.  I know the food pyramid.  I know practically how many calories are in every food.   Sometimes Greg is finished eating, and I am still "plugging" my food into myfitnesspal, then I'm eating alone and shoveling it in with out thinking.  
Too much thinking about food!

*No diet foods*

For me, this is scamming the system.  How much low or no calorie things can I eat so I can eat more.  
Too much processed food!
 
*Eat what Greg eats for dinner*

I hardly ever eat what Greg eats.  I make my little "diet" food.  Most of the time, I think I cant have what he's having, but in reality his meals are probably the same calories and defiantly more filling, physically and mentally than mine.  This might help me not to binge on things "I can't have".
To much emphasis on the words "I can't eat that"!


*Eat when I'm hungry, but 3 times a day, sitting*

This one is hard.  Believe it or not....I'm never hungry.  I have to force myself to eat most of this time.  Now, when I'm off plan, I can eat like no other, but when I'm watching, usually only eat about 3-4 hundred calories all day until supper time.  I know I have to eat to lose, so three good solid meals a day, sitting and slowing enjoying and I shouldn't be tempted to over eat later in the day, and it will help my metabolism :)
To much telling myself, I need to eat!

I am hoping that this will change my relationship with food.  I am just tired of constantly thinking about what I should eat.  Tired of thinking about what I shouldn't eat, and tired of thinking about when I should eat it.

Sigh......I feel less stress already :)

xoxo


"Ain't you tired, Ms. Hilly.  Ain't you tired?"

~"The Help",  Aibileen Clark

 

14 comments:

  1. I hear you on this. Overthinking every little bit of food can make you crazy. I'm glad you're giving yourself a break, and I hope this will help. Sometimes, I wonder if I just shouldn't have tried to cook more but eat smaller portions, instead of going the traditional diet route. Hang in there!

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    1. Thanks!! That's exactly what I'm going to try.....Real foods....just less of it :)

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  2. I am sooooo familiar with this cycle. Until about 6 years ago, I used to do the same thing - and I was miserable! Then I decided - I am going to give up dieting - I am going to watch what I eat, but will not follow a diet and will not eat "diet foods" which make me feel deprived. I'd rather eat a small portion of "regular food" and not feel deprived than eat a large portion of diet food. I also decided that it was time to start to eat more intuitively (although I have only put that into practice inconsistently). I highly recommend the book "Intuitive Eating". I would also recommend "The End of Overeating" although that is not so much about not-overeating as a book about how the food industry "makes" us eat more. I certainly got a lot from that book and came away not beating myself up about "not having enough will power". I LOVEEEEE your new goals! I'm rooting for you!

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    1. Thanks, and thanks for the book recommendations! Feeling deprived is a big thing for me and my "poor me" attitude sometimes :) I'm hoping this will help :)

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  3. Great goals! It's soooo hard to get out of that diet mentality, but really, so much changes when you stop thinking of food as being "good" or "bad", and just think of it as, well, food. Because that's all it is! When you take away the morality aspect, the food you thought of as "bad" no longer seems so tempting. Also, no longer making separate meals for you and your husband=BRAVO. I'm excited for you!

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    1. Thank you! I'm looking forward to eating dinner with Greg....His food!! :)

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  4. I am so tired of this constant struggle too. It's so frustrating. I think you have some great goals and I look forward to seeing your progress.

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    1. Thank you! I know this isn't supposed to be easy, but I'm just tired of it being this hard :)

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  5. I have often said that sometimes I just wish and long for the days of 'pre-weight watching'. It was a time of innocence. But, that said; we need to find a happy medium where we are still living life but also living a healthy lifestyle!

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    1. Exactly! A happy medium is what I'm searching for!! We'll find it!! :)

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  6. Over thinking is hard - and so easy to do! Susan Powter still looks kind of scary if you have seen her recently LOL! I remember her book way back then and the only thing I really remember is that she really liked oatmeal.

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    1. LOL I just googles her! Still intimidating! :)

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  7. I feel just like you sometimes. I try to remember that I want to choose to eat for good health. But I also think that food is actually more than fuel. It is an enjoyment for the senses. I try to remember that, and to enjoy something really good, instead of denying myself that, and then gorging on something lesser. The trouble for me comes when I want to "enjoy" too much for too long :) And the thinking? I have a fit about that once in a while. But I am resigned to the fact that I will probably think more about food than the average person for the rest of my life.

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    1. I hear ya! Food should be a little fun and mostly fuel. I usually flip it around :)

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