I had a cheat weekend. I haven't felt this lost in months. Although I don't regret my weekend, I still feel like I've failed......
This is how my weekend went down.
Every year, my daughter Blayne and I go on a little road trip sometime in the fall. We call it our Fall Fun Day. Usually we go a sweet little Amish town in Ohio, a little over an hour away, and visit a little Amish store. We do a little shopping and then sit in the town square in the gazebo and eat our treats and just enjoy the scenery. This year we decided to do something different, and took the back way to to Hermitage, a town about an hour away, to do some craft shopping and lunch. As per our Fall Fun Day Rules, we stopped at the usual store to fuel up on drinks, then we were off on our road trip. I had already planned on making this a cheat day because, well, because I wanted to. I wanted the Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn, the Candy Corn Autumn Mix, and the Pumpkin Spice Yogurt Covered Pretzels, not to mention the chocolate that usually rides along with us on any road trip. I wanted to go out to lunch and order what I really wanted. It's tradition you know :)
This is on our way to Hermitage. It started out a little rainy, but it didn't last and it was still beautiful.
This is a cute little house that is at the end of a square in Ohio, that I've always loved.
This is the craft store we traveled to go to. We do not that these near us. We have a Hobby Lobby, and a Michaels. They are similar to this Pat Catan's.
Part of their sticker, washi tape isle.....Sigh :)
Hermitage also has a TJ Maxx, so of course we had to go there :) Blayne found these little Christmas figures. We kind of were afraid of their faces.............
Just some fun pictures of our drive home....
When I got home from our road trip. Greg decided that he wanted Chinese for dinner. Of course, I couldn't turn that down could I? I mean, I already ate badly and I really did want Chinese.
Sunday I woke up with thoughts of starting over. One day couldn't have hurt to bad. I stepped on the scale.......Big mistake I know. I was up 5 pounds. I know it was water weight blah blah blah, but it still hurt. My mind started to do some bad talking. After church, my sister and I took our 4 great nephews and our youngest niece and nephew on a picnic, nature hike/scavenger hunt. We had a blast with them.
Aren't they all just super cute?? Anyway, the picnic food, and snacks were just too good for me to pass by. My old mind tricks started up again. "Oh you blew it yesterday, so why don't you just START MONDAY". That dreaded Start Monday, we all know and love. I caved. I am so ashamed. I could be on day two of being on plan, but instead, I am starting over after a 2 day crash. UGG! Why does it matter so much? It shouldn't. Isn't enough that I've been doing great since the end of June? Will it ever be enough? I am beginning to wonder. I don't want to be so consumed with my weight loss that I am upset about cheating a few days. I think it's still new. I am still so close to my old thoughts and my old ways, that I am scared of falling back into that some old routine of sliding for days eating anything and everything. I have been so good and have been able to get right back on track after going off for a day. This is 2 days, and I think that's why I am in a panic.
Today is my day. Today I get back on plan. Today I turn it around. Today I will not be with same old Lori that I used to be. I am determined to put her to rest once and for all. If I can survive today, and stay on plan, then I will be stronger than I ever have been. Today is my day!