For many months, I haven't felt at peace. I have felt like something is missing in my life. Yesterday was my birthday, so I did a evaluation of my life. Aside from the loss of my Dad, and my Mom with her new home and way of life with Alzheimer's, I have it pretty good. My life is wonderful right now. I turned 56, my husband and kids are happy and healthy, I love my job, so why the feeling of loss? After really searching, my mind went to God and my Church Services. I haven't been consistently going to Mass for awhile. I am Catholic, and yes, I am the Church secretary and shouldn't they go every day? Well you would think so right? After my Dad died, I put off going to Mass. I just didn't want to see anyone who would remind me of my Dad. My parents loved going to Mass. They were on the Catering Crew, were active in the Cursillo Movement, and Small Faith Groups, with my sister and I as well, so everything and everyone there, reminded me of them. Then Covid hit and I sequestered myself because I was caring for my Mom and I didn't want to take chances of her catching Covid. I ordered my groceries, never went visiting, and Church was off limits in my mind. The world started to open back up, including my Church, but I hadn't gotten the vaccine yet, so I still stayed quarantined for my Mom. I now have been vaccinated for a few months, yet I keep staying away from going to Mass. Had I been using Covid as an excuse all along? Oh, I still pray, I thank God every day for taking such good care of my family, but I haven't been doing all of the wonderful things that Catholic's get to do. So what do I do about it? Well, I prayed. I talked with God and apologized. I prayed about why I can't seem to get back to Mass regularly. Lazy, Nervous, Embarrassed, Scared, are a few words that I though of. I asked him why I have felt so lost even though I still pray. I got up and I dusted off one of my daily prayer books and turned it that day...July 5th...my birthday. This is what I found........
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