Hello Monday! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
I had a cheat weekend. I haven't felt this lost in months. Although I don't regret my weekend, I still feel like I've failed......
This is on our way to Hermitage. It started out a little rainy, but it didn't last and it was still beautiful.
This is a cute little house that is at the end of a square in Ohio, that I've always loved.
Part of their sticker, washi tape isle.....Sigh :)
Hermitage also has a TJ Maxx, so of course we had to go there :) Blayne found these little Christmas figures. We kind of were afraid of their faces.............
Just some fun pictures of our drive home....
Sometime, I want to go traveling just to find old run down barns to photograph. I just love them!! I need a descent camera first. These are with my phone :)
When I got home from our road trip. Greg decided that he wanted Chinese for dinner. Of course, I couldn't turn that down could I? I mean, I already ate badly and I really did want Chinese.
Sunday I woke up with thoughts of starting over. One day couldn't have hurt to bad. I stepped on the scale.......Big mistake I know. I was up 5 pounds. I know it was water weight blah blah blah, but it still hurt. My mind started to do some bad talking. After church, my sister and I took our 4 great nephews and our youngest niece and nephew on a picnic, nature hike/scavenger hunt. We had a blast with them.
Aren't they all just super cute?? Anyway, the picnic food, and snacks were just too good for me to pass by. My old mind tricks started up again. "Oh you blew it yesterday, so why don't you just START MONDAY". That dreaded Start Monday, we all know and love. I caved. I am so ashamed. I could be on day two of being on plan, but instead, I am starting over after a 2 day crash. UGG! Why does it matter so much? It shouldn't. Isn't enough that I've been doing great since the end of June? Will it ever be enough? I am beginning to wonder. I don't want to be so consumed with my weight loss that I am upset about cheating a few days. I think it's still new. I am still so close to my old thoughts and my old ways, that I am scared of falling back into that some old routine of sliding for days eating anything and everything. I have been so good and have been able to get right back on track after going off for a day. This is 2 days, and I think that's why I am in a panic.
Today is my day. Today I get back on plan. Today I turn it around. Today I will not be with same old Lori that I used to be. I am determined to put her to rest once and for all. If I can survive today, and stay on plan, then I will be stronger than I ever have been. Today is my day!
xoxo
I had a cheat weekend. I haven't felt this lost in months. Although I don't regret my weekend, I still feel like I've failed......
This is how my weekend went down.
Every year, my daughter Blayne and I go on a little road trip sometime in the fall. We call it our Fall Fun Day. Usually we go a sweet little Amish town in Ohio, a little over an hour away, and visit a little Amish store. We do a little shopping and then sit in the town square in the gazebo and eat our treats and just enjoy the scenery. This year we decided to do something different, and took the back way to to Hermitage, a town about an hour away, to do some craft shopping and lunch. As per our Fall Fun Day Rules, we stopped at the usual store to fuel up on drinks, then we were off on our road trip. I had already planned on making this a cheat day because, well, because I wanted to. I wanted the Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn, the Candy Corn Autumn Mix, and the Pumpkin Spice Yogurt Covered Pretzels, not to mention the chocolate that usually rides along with us on any road trip. I wanted to go out to lunch and order what I really wanted. It's tradition you know :)
This is on our way to Hermitage. It started out a little rainy, but it didn't last and it was still beautiful.
This is a cute little house that is at the end of a square in Ohio, that I've always loved.
This is the craft store we traveled to go to. We do not that these near us. We have a Hobby Lobby, and a Michaels. They are similar to this Pat Catan's.
Part of their sticker, washi tape isle.....Sigh :)
Hermitage also has a TJ Maxx, so of course we had to go there :) Blayne found these little Christmas figures. We kind of were afraid of their faces.............
Just some fun pictures of our drive home....
When I got home from our road trip. Greg decided that he wanted Chinese for dinner. Of course, I couldn't turn that down could I? I mean, I already ate badly and I really did want Chinese.
Sunday I woke up with thoughts of starting over. One day couldn't have hurt to bad. I stepped on the scale.......Big mistake I know. I was up 5 pounds. I know it was water weight blah blah blah, but it still hurt. My mind started to do some bad talking. After church, my sister and I took our 4 great nephews and our youngest niece and nephew on a picnic, nature hike/scavenger hunt. We had a blast with them.
Aren't they all just super cute?? Anyway, the picnic food, and snacks were just too good for me to pass by. My old mind tricks started up again. "Oh you blew it yesterday, so why don't you just START MONDAY". That dreaded Start Monday, we all know and love. I caved. I am so ashamed. I could be on day two of being on plan, but instead, I am starting over after a 2 day crash. UGG! Why does it matter so much? It shouldn't. Isn't enough that I've been doing great since the end of June? Will it ever be enough? I am beginning to wonder. I don't want to be so consumed with my weight loss that I am upset about cheating a few days. I think it's still new. I am still so close to my old thoughts and my old ways, that I am scared of falling back into that some old routine of sliding for days eating anything and everything. I have been so good and have been able to get right back on track after going off for a day. This is 2 days, and I think that's why I am in a panic.
Today is my day. Today I get back on plan. Today I turn it around. Today I will not be with same old Lori that I used to be. I am determined to put her to rest once and for all. If I can survive today, and stay on plan, then I will be stronger than I ever have been. Today is my day!
xoxo
Oh Lori, I and countless others live your life. I feel your pain and have such a hard time talking about it. Be strong today and get back on track. I'm right with you. I know you can do it. You have come so far. 2 days is really nothing, that 2 days of clean eating can't help. Hugs!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lisa! It's hard to put it out there but it helps to know others struggle too! We can do this!
DeleteI understand the panic about not wanting to fall back into your old ways, but there are 365 days in a year, so going off plan for two of those days? Overall, that doesn't even register as a blip. You've been doing so great - don't let your brain tell you otherwise.
ReplyDeleteYou know, you are right! I need to stop listening to my head and see it for what it is! Thanks Shelley :)
DeleteWords of advice from my boss, "Everyday is a new day!" When you are discouraged or feeling defeated - hang it up as the past and a learning experience and begin each new day as just that! Happy new day to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelly! You are so right. "Every day is a new day". We need this in a plaque to hang on the wall to remind us every day! :)
DeleteI totally understand the "start Monday" mentality! I've done it so many times. But what I've also done is gone totally off the rails for weeks, months at at time. Stopping yourself at two days is great. You may show a gain for a week, but after that you should be back to losing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! You are right. I stopped at 2 days...that is a change for me :)
DeleteToday a lady at WW said she. Let it this week when she went to a cooking class that started with wine -- and finished with pasta and all kinds of sauces. The leader asked her, "Did you enjoy yourself?" It was a girls night out for this lady and she said she did, but she hated that she ate what she did.
ReplyDeleteI ask you as well... Did you enjoy yourself?
And I think you did.
Don't let that nasty voice in your head beat you up for taking a weekend to enjoy family and treats you don't normally enjoy. I think you're smart to observe it is still close to when you used to give up and so you need to be careful.
But you're doing exactly that. You are noticing what happened and not allowing yourself to let the weekend turn into a full week. AWESOME!!
You've been doing great and one enjoyable weekend does not equal a failure just because it showed on the scale.
This is all about lifetime and you're still down practically 30 pounds. You're doing great!! ((Hugs))
I did enjoy myself :) You're right...one weekend isn't failure! Thanks so much :)
DeleteI would totally, get lost in the washi tape heaven too.
ReplyDeleteWell, you said it all- it was fun and you slipped a little. But, then mostly you do great. So, life will keep coming in between and we..just have to be more careful in future with our choices :)
You're right! Life does keep coming. Learning to adjust is a journey I will always be on :)
DeleteIf you eat something, enjoy it. No guilt. When you feel guilt about eating, it puts foods into good and bad categories and you tend to crave the "bad", which can send you overboard. Food is food. When foods become bad, forbidden, cheats - that's what causes the guilt.
ReplyDeleteAnyway - I love that house on the corner. I could see giving it a little love and making it shine!
What a fun weekend!!
ReplyDeleteHold tight!!!! Back in the saddle again with your eating and you will be all right!!!
I recently recommitted to losing and did so because like you were, at the inception of your blog, I'm approaching 50. February 26th (2015) I decided I had enough with my weight teetering so dangerously to a number I didn't like. I started counting calories. Very elementary. It worked. I started power walking/running on a treadmill 5 days a week for 40 minutes (4.0mph carrying 2# hand weights). I've lost 22.8. I'm thinner and toner (is that a word?) than I was when I married 24 years ago! I feel so much better and I have way more confidence. I did Weight Watchers in the past a couple times. Never ever made it through maintenance (obviously). I decided to count calories and forget about WW. I wanted the freedom to eat whatever I wanted as long as I tracked what I ate. Finding the amount of calories to eat was a bit tricky. I ate donuts, french fries, pizza, cake, ice cream, Ho Ho's, pizza, snowballs. . . did I mention pizza? I've tracked it all and I have loss. I don't feel guilty when I eat something that for years I thought was "taboo" or was to "pointy". I count for it. I found that if I didn't give in to a craving I would scrounge around the house snacking on "low cal" options until I would have consumed the same amount of calories in say what that one Ho Ho has. So, now I eat the one Ho Ho and share the other with my son and move on. It saves me from a binge and possible sabotage. It has helped me stay in control. To me it's all about control. We are in control, Lori. Right? Our choices are our control. You didn't blow it. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. Don't argue with yourself over what should have been. Eventually it will fall into place. When you get to a comfortable weight your mindset will shift. Mine has. You will get there to! Have faith & good luck!
ReplyDeleteRosa, thanks so much for your advice! It sounds like your head is in the right place. I thought mine was until this little mishap :) It's a work in progress! It's been years of "good" and "bad" foods and it's so hard to change that habit! It's so great to hear from you and hear that you are doing well on your journey. Keep up the good work!!
DeleteLove your pictures. Driving and stopping for random pics is one of my favorite things to do. I totally get the wanting to just do what you want to do - eat what you want to eat. Good on you for getting back on track. It is a lifetime :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pictures! Love it!
ReplyDeleteanne H