An Emotional Afternoon

Today started off like a wonderful Sunday.  I went to Mass and sang in the choir, I spent time teaching my little second graders at CCD (bible school), my sister and I met at my parents house for coffee, and I get home to find out our youngest son just slid off the road and put his car in the ditch.  He is fine.  Not hurt at all.  His car was just a junker car to begin with but my husband, who left to pull him out, just called and said he will have to get a tow and who knows what kind of damage was done.  What I am really upset about was instead of calling us for a ride, he walked home.  Now, this is a kid that wears shorts and slip on shoes every day of his life.  Thankfully it was warmer today than it has been.  It is 25 degrees, but the roads are snow covered and it is just a single lane both direction road, plus it was about 4 miles away and snowing.  I am just sad that he had to walk.  Is that silly?  He's 19 but he is still our baby.  He said he didn't want to disappoint us by calling.  I felt horrible for him that he felt so bad about it.  Greg and I both told him that we are more upset about him walking than the car being in the ditch.  Sometimes I don't know what goes through kids' minds.  Did he not think we weren't going to find out anyway?  Maybe he needed that time to think, so that's why he walked.  He could have called his cousin for a ride.  Regardless, there was my baby out in the snow and cold and dangerous roads walking home.  URGGG!!  I may be just going overboard, but for some reason it just hit me and I began to cry.  I called my sister after they left, to vent a bit and just get things out.  That helped.  I decided to vent to you all and this is helping too just getting things out.  I realize that it could have been so much worse, and I thanked God that he wasn't hurt, but again, he is our baby and I guess I just kind of felt like I should have been there to help him, to pick him up, to hug him, but instead he took that long walk home alone. When our children are little, you are always there when they need you.  It is just hard to not be there.  No matter how old they are, regardless if they live with you or not, you still worry about them, and what happens to them still impacts your day.  I know I'm being over emotional but hey, this kid-growing-up-thing is hard :)

xoxo

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while

but their hearts forever."

~Unknown