A Goodbye

Before I begin........My weigh in on Friday went well.  I was so nervous all week, because I have been seeing success and I know my body and it puts on the breaks once in a while, but I was happy with my loss.  

I lost 1.8 pounds!  That makes 18 pounds total!  I am so happy with my process so far!!

More on that later...... 

Switching gears.....

I have a child who lives more than 30 minutes away from me.  Except for Blayne and staying at school, I've never had to say this before.  My middle, my son Connor, 26,  has moved away.  He is about 5 1/2 hours away from us now.   His girlfriend is ill.  She has kidney failure.  This is from something she was born with, and needs to be near her Mom. So, they packed up and moved.  It was a spur of the moment thing.  Their apartment lease was up and his summer job, cooking at the lake side resort, had ended.  His winter job was just beginning and he was OK with letting it go and his girlfriend needed her Mother, so they just moved.  That is how it is with my Connor.  He has a gypsy soul!  He called me and said, I know this is quick and  please don't be mad, but we need to do this.  I told him I wasn't mad, maybe a little sad (honestly a lot sad, but I didn't want him to know that).  I told him his father and I supported anything he wanted to do.  He said he was nervous because he never lived more than 20 minutes from us and his home.  I told him I was proud of him and his decision, and that he would be fine.  Then, I hung up and I cried.   Connor is a small town boy, and has moved 15 minutes from Philadelphia, Pa which is a huge city.  What will he do?  He will thrive!  He needed this move.   A little back story.....Connor is my wild child.  My, take the risk and worry about the consequences later, child.  We always said Connor is living the fraternity life and isn't even in college.  He's not bad.  He just makes poor choices and is the one most likely to get caught, and has gotten caught.  He spent some time in trouble for DUI's...yes, more than one.  Then spent some time confined to the house with an ankle monitor.  Then when he was free to go, he met Emily.  She more or less saved him.  He now has a purpose.  A reason to work, stay on track, and she keeps him away from his old friends he used to hang around with.  This move is good for him.  He needs to get away to find himself even more.  Maybe being away from us will be good for him too.  Not that he every relied on us for help.  Both our older kids are super independent, but just knowing that we aren't just a few minutes away will make him into an even stronger man.   Yes, this is a good move for him.....really it is :)    The hardest thing is we will not see him at Thanksgiving or Christmas.  His girlfriend, with her illness, is on dialysis, and can not be away over night.  This will be tough.  Being a boy, we didn't see him as much as we see our daughter Blayne, but we always spent the holidays together.  Sigh!  I know many parents have children that live far away, and I know that really 5 1/2 hours really isn't THAT far away, but it is when for 26 years of his life, he's lived close.  I don't know how others do it, not seeing their kids.  My friends who have kids in the military, hardly ever see them, and have the added worry about their safety.  I guess it's something that just you have to get used to.....you have no choice.  It's all part of life.  Do we want them with us forever?  No.  Like I said before, God didn't give us our children to have them forever.  He gave them to us to raise, and let go of, so they can make their own lives, make their own choices, make their own families.  But why does it have to be so hard?  :)  

xoxo