Welcome to my little place!
My blog was started to help me come to terms with turning 50, to find myself as I become an empty nester, and to help me with my weight loss journey. (Update Here)
I am in an amazing place in my life so now follow me as I move forward with the good and the bad, my continued wieght loss journey and just my life!!


Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Acknowledging Changes and Finding My Why

Sorry this is going to be a little long.  I almost spit it up in 2 posts but they all go together so I just put it all in one.  Bear with me :)

I've been struggling to loose weight since the birth of my first child, my daughter.  She is 28.  That is a long time.  A long time to think about something.  A long time to have something the center of your life.  It's just a long time.  I have lost and gained weight, but never getting down to where I should be.  I was always around 135 in high school.  I was a cheerleader, strong, always burned off anything I ate because I was very active. I don't want to get there now.  I'm not in high school anymore and I wouldn't even look good being that low.  I'd like to be 160.  That is the number that I have been in my head for years now.  The closest I have gotten is 199 and that is always Christmas time.  I can't seem to get closer.

I was talking about this with my sister at the salon yesterday.  I told her that I am having a mental fight with myself lately.  I'm sure we all get this way sometimes.  Mentally telling myself that I'm tired of not being like normal people, always watching what I eat.  Tired of constantly thinking about food and weather or not I'm going to splurge when I go out next.  Constantly planning my next binge. Blah blah, poor Lori.

Here's whats happening.  I do well all day.  No problems staying on track.  Night time comes and I am up and down constantly getting food....after Greg is asleep of course.  Then the next morning I wake up sick, mentally and physically.  Then it starts all over again. I told my sister this and how it is making me feel like such a failure and it is making me depressed.  I can't seem to stop this loop of insanity.  She, being the smart woman that she is who knows me better than I know myself, told me to stop and think about all the things that I have changed since starting my blog, since really starting my weight loss journey.  

I've joined WW.  My meetings are Friday's at noon.  I am taking time for myself to better myself.   Spending money on me.  Not on my kids.   CHANGE!

I meet on Wednesdays with my wonderful support group.  Taking time again for myself.  This is at night even and I leave Greg.  CHANGE!

I am eating fruits and vegetables.  CHANGE!

I am drinking more water.  CHANGE!

I am walking....a lot.  CHANGE!

I am not going completely off track all day every day.  CHANGE!

I am eating more.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  CHANGE!


Sometimes we are so focused on the number, the end result and getting there, that we don't see small changes happen.  We feel sorry for ourselves because we haven't gotten "there" yet.  The new WW plan is all about Beyond the Scale.  Thinking about this all, I have had many NSV (non scale victories)  Sometimes all we think about are the negative things and they really can bring you down farther and farther.  I try to be a positive person, but sometimes I forget about myself.  I remembered what a woman at my WW meeting said one time when someone was complaining that she was out to dinner and was mad that she couldn't be normal like everyone else around her who were eating anything they wanted.  The lady spoke up and said...."don't you see....you are the normal one.  Those people you saw eating anything they wanted, they either are not normal because most people now a days are more careful, or maybe this is those peoples special day, their cheat day".  That made me think.  You never know what you are seeing.  My sister for example eats out and mostly makes good choices, but there are times when she eats pizza and wings.  If someone saw her out, they would be like...oh must be nice to eat anything you want and not worry.  What they don't know is that my sister works hard to maintain her maintenance.  She lost 40 plus pound on WW about 5 years or so ago and has kept it off.  Those people out don't know that so we judge and compare.  I do this.  I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and comparing myself with others.   I need to remember all of the amazing changes that I have made.  Sure I'm not down to where I wanted to be after Christmas, but at least I am still trying.  Still working it.  Sometimes numbers are really just numbers.

I started thinking about what I needed to get refocused, because although I like my changes I've made, unless I stop that loop of insanity I mentioned above, I'm going to be stuck at this weight forever.  I started thinking about something my friend Kelly, from my support group, always says.

"Remember your why."

It's been so long that I really can't remember why I started trying to lose weight.  In the beginning, oh so many years ago, I'm sure it was because I had my first 2 babies and I wanted my body back.   Yesterday my sister asked me if I could say right now what my "why" is what would it be without thinking.  I couldn't answer.  I don't know what my why is.  Sure I want to look better and feel better.  But I need something more specific in order to be able to focus on that "why" when I'm struggling.   After a while, what popped into my mind was a few small things.  Silly and trivial for some, but these are what my "why" is......

* I want to be able to wear jeans and a t-shirt.  

Ok, so I can wear these now, but the t-shirt is so big because it needs to cover my big middle,  and the jeans are made for big women, and the makers all think that just because you have a big waist, that you have big legs and a big butt.  I don't, so in jeans, I look like a big ole sloppy mess, which is why I never wear them!

*  I want to be able to walk down a flight of stairs.

No railing.  Not sideways.  Straight, forward down a flight of stairs.

*  I want to be able to do a head stand.

Silly, but I have no core muscles and I'm working on that.  Yay Pilates!

*   I want to be able to walk a 5K and not be winded or puke.

Yeah, self explanatory.

*  I want to be able to lie on the floor and get up without using my hands

Again, silly but it would be big.

So, now I have my "why".  The in-my-heart reasons why I want to make changes in my body.  Some of these require weight loss.  Some just require getting in shape.  Both go hand in hand and I am ready to stop that loop to finally make this happen!

What is your "why"??

xoxo




Friday, January 22, 2016

Celebrations!

Happy Anniversary Connie and Paul!!  My sister and her husband have been married 21 years! They met when she was 18, so they've been together 31 years.  Anniversary's are wonderful!  Not only do we take time to celebrate an amazing milestone, but we also take the time to reminisce about our younger days.  My sister and I spent the day remembering how our family first met Paul, what we thought of him (all good mind you).  Also, hearing Connie tell the story of how they met, the wedding day......Sigh!  I love trips down Memory Lane :)   When I think back of the younger version of my sister.  Little sister, scrawny, tomboy.  Here she is now, married woman, mom. tomboy :)  Sometimes I still see that little girl, and am so proud of who she grew into.


Last night us girls in the family went out to dinner to celebrate a few occasions!  My SIL Julie had a birthday on Saturday.  We were unable to celebrate then, because my sister, mom and I worked at a benefit for a family at our Church.  Anyway, we all decided to go out last night to celebrate Julie!  Alyssa, Julies daughter is due with her second baby boy in a few weeks, so we thought we would surprise her with a little shower at the restaurant too.  Two celebrations in one!  We called ahead to warn them, and got a seat away from other customers, as to not disrupt anyone :)


My fun non-alcoholic drink.  Pina Colada :) 
It was fabulous! 



Julie with with foil print that 
my daughter Blayne made her.




Excited for more presents! 
She is so cute :) 



The mommy to be.
Alyssa :) 



A lantern that Blayne made 
for the baby's room
The theme is 
"Where the Wild Things Are"



Here are more views of the lantern.
It just turned out so cute!







The Girls :) 


 From the front, left, Our friend Darlene.    My sister Connie.  Daughter Blayne.  Me :)   My niece Alyssa.   SIL Julie.   Niece Ariel.   SIL Steph :)

I apologize for the quality of my pictures.  I used my phone, and I can't get the flash right.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time celebrating each other.
Anniversary, Baby. Birthday.  Family.

 Even if there isn't an occasion, it is just nice to celebrate life and family.  Both are a wonderful blessing!

xoxo


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Happiness Is...........

Once in a while, during this hectic thing we call life, we all need to stop and think about what makes us smile.  What things sing to your soul.  What things make you happy.

When I sit and reflect at the end of my day.  Usually I give thanks to God for everything he has given me.  Strength, love, the amazing day.  Sometimes I need to reflect on the little things.  Those small things that I couldn't live without.  Those little things that make me happy.

My Husband.  Here is a man who has been with me since I was 16.  He gives me unconditional love.  He accepts me for who I am.  Heavy, moody, lazy, it doesn't matter to him.  He takes it all and never utters a single negative word.  He works so hard at home and at work.  I really am spoiled.  I really am loved.



My Children.  My 3 babies, my daughter Blayne, Sons Connor and Dominic, are my heart.  They are now 28, 26, and 20.  They are grown and have their own lives.  I look at them and know I did something right.  Kids don't make life easy at times, but it's through the bad times that you truly love them for who they are.




My Family.  My whole family lives around me.  I know they are there for me when I need them.   I am lucky to still have my parents with me.  They have been together since they were 15.  Married 51 years.  They show me what love is everyday.  My sister is my life.  I truly do not know what I would do without her.  She is my support, my go to person when I need anything.   My conscious, my business partner and my best friend.  My SIL's are like my sisters.  They have been with us forever and my life wouldn't be complete without them.  My nieces and nephews....they keep me young at heart :)

My Church and My Church Family.  I need both to be happy.  Going to Mass sets my week right. I love spending time with my Choir and Ladies of the Rosary members. They are my family!

My Dogs.  Laker, and Ava.  They make me happy just saying their names.  In a empty nester house, these two are like our kids now.  We can just sit and watch them play together.  The Lab and The Chihuahua.  The big and the tiny.  How can you not be happy?



Netflix Binge Watching!

Coffee & Coffee Cups.   Oh heaven!  I love my coffee.  It makes everything right.  It makes me smile.  Put it in a cute mug and it is just that much better!!

My Kindle.  A good book makes me happy.  Heck, any book does!!

My Porch (The Sanctuary)




New Make Up :)

Road Trips with Blayne.  My daughter and I love short road trips.  Even better if we get lost :)

WW Meetings!

Chocolate.  You gotta enjoy the little things in life, no matter if you are watching calories or not.

 Blogging :)

Purses, Totes, Wallets.  I get giddy when I'm shopping for these!  It's a weird obsession :)

Meeting Friends For Coffee/Lunch :)

Girls Night With My Family.   5 women, 1 daughter, 2 nieces, food, drinks = Happiness



My Weight Loss Group.  My new found happiness!

Starbucks.  Seeing that green makes me happy :)

Summertime Beach Days!



Hearing Luke Bryan, Brantley Gilbert or Florida Georgia Line on the Radio :)   SIGH!

Harry Potter.   Umm....Yeah, even though my son teases me...Still makes me happy :)

Lifetime Movies

Time Time from Thanksgiving to Christmas!!

Anything Caramel

Shopping :)

So, these are just some of the things that I could think of right away that make me happy.  Every one of these things makes me the person I am.  They bring me joy in the littlest and biggest of ways.  I couldn't imagine my life without them.

What makes you happy??

xoxo


Monday, January 18, 2016

In Love and Finding Support

Happy Monday!!

Just wanted to start you off with  my view this snowy Monday morning.  :)  Thank goodness I'm off today.  I wouldn't want to leave this little darling :) 



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One of my early Christmas gifts from Greg was a fitbit Charge HR.  I have a little fitbit Zip, but I have been wanting to update and get the wrist one.  Weight Watchers was having a sale on them before Christmas, so I called Greg and he said get it!  I have been wearing it since then, but just more or less getting used to the feeling of it on my wrist, and playing with it a bit.  Just recently tho, I have been totally obsessed with it.  Now, I know all new fitbit wears get this new found obsession, and can't stop checking it, I used to hear all the jokes, and thought "come on!"  But, I am really obsessing, and I really can't stop checking it!  My life is revolving around this beautiful black thing on my wrist.

Yes...I am in love with my fitbit..........


I recently joined a weight loss group.  It's actually called a Healthy Living Group but we are all there to lose weight.  It is made up of some local ladies that I know, and some that I know only from Facebook.  We meet once a week, for 8 weeks, weigh in and discuss our week. We get points for certain things, one is 30 minutes of exercise a day.  Most of these ladies have fitbits and we connected up to do challenges.  This is probably the best thing I have done to propel me to move more.  I think I have walked more these past few weeks then I have my entire life. lol  Really, I'm serious!  Our first challenge I came in 2nd!!  I was winning all week, and then ended up coming in 2nd.  As you know I hate to walk, so this is so big for me!  I am happy to even place at all!  We started a new challenge today so I will be pushing myself to get off my butt again, and that is always a positive thing.


I am so happy to have found these ladies,  They are a constant source of support for me.  We are all in the same place.  Wanting to get healthy.  Some have more to loose, like me, and others not as much, but still struggle with the same issues that I do.  Amazing how alike we all are.  We support each other throughout the week via our facebook group page, then some of us meet and weigh in on Wednesday nights.   Friday is my weigh in day at WW, so that really helps me stay on track all week!

We all need things or people to help us on our journey.  I have my family and you all, I have my WW meetings, I have my new Healthy Living group, and  now, I have my new best friend, my fitbit :)

xoxo






Monday, January 11, 2016

Weigh In and Cleaning Out


Friday was my Weight Watchers Meeting.  I have not been since before Christmas.  Since my meetings are on Friday's, we did not have a meeting last week, because it was New Years Day, and we did not have one the week before, because it was Christmas Day, and my schedule did not fit with their other day meetings, so I was out for 2 weeks.   As I said in my Christmas post, I didn't do too well the days leading up to Christmas and a few days after, but I did manage to jump back on track faster than I normally do, and that is a new and exciting feeling for me.  I wanted to talk about that at my meeting, but it was so full of new members, with tons of questions about the plan, that I really didn't have a chance to share.  The new plan is all about Beyond the Scale, and success in ways other ways besides the scale.  For me, not waiting until after Valentines day, is a HUGE success for me.  For years, I have been doing the same thing....I lose weight in time for Christmas, then I go overboard eat everything I can, then start again after Valentines Day.  Not this year!  This year already has a different feel to it. I know this is the year I make things happen!  Anyway, my weight before Christmas was  206.  I was up 3 pounds from Thanksgiving.  I weighed myself after Christmas and was up about 12 pounds which, I know was some water weight, but also some cookie, candy, and everything else weight.  This is where I am as of Friday at my weigh in.....


206.4.  That is only a .4 gain!  I was super happy!  It isn't 199 like my goal for the holidays, but I lost all the weight that I gained over Christmas, and that's all that matters!!  I am not dwelling on my mistakes, I am owning them and moving on!! I love where I am starting this new year!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


     

Besides working on getting my body healthy, this year, I am also working on getting my life healthy.  I'm ready to clean out the closet in certain areas.  There are always people, or things in your life that just don't "sing to your soul" like they used to.  My sister uses that phrase and I just love it.  2016 is the perfect year for me to sort out things/people that just don't do it for me anymore.  At this stage in my life, I don't HAVE to surround myself with people who bring be down, make me feel less than, or people who I just don't connect with morally anymore.  So, it's time to do some cleaning.  Now, I'm not going to go out and purposely be mean to people and actually rid them from my life.  I'm just not going to push things or expect too much anymore, because usually they disappoint anyway.  Same thing with things in my life.  If you always help out with certain events, and you just don't "feel" it anymore, why do it?  If you are like me, you do it because you've always done it and who else would?  I'm talking about things outside the house.  I don't mean we all go out and have a housewives strike or anything :)  So, what I'm saying is, if you don't feel it anymore, then just stop :)   At my stage in life, I'm allowed to be a bit selfish and picky with what I do with my time and who I spend it with.  I'm tired of dreading things or people.  That is no way to live.  

I want to be that person who I know I am.  Not that person who I think people want.  If you don't like me, that's ok, because I like me, and that's all that matters. :) 

xoxo



Thursday, January 7, 2016

A Doggy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Greta!

We had a birthday at The Dapper Dog today!!  My sister Connie's dog Greta is 9 today!  We had a little birthday celebration at the salon this afternoon for her.  Connie made her a special birthday cake!!  There were decorations, including some puppy pictures and of course, presents.  Greta's sister Ellen was there along with Ava. :) 



The birthday girl and her sister Ellen taking a peek at the cake!!



Present time!!



Ava helping to celebrate!!



Pets come into your lives and change them.  
They become your comfort, your best friend, your family.

xoxo 






Sunday, January 3, 2016

A New Year, A New Me

2015 was an amazing year.  I started this blog.  I turned 50.  I got a tattoo :)  I came to terms with being an empty nester.  I found myself.  My life has changed because of it all.  I am a different person today than I was a year ago.  

Physically I am the same.  I didn't loose as much weight as I intended to loose, but that really doesn't matter, because what I did loose is much more important.  I lost the need to constantly think about my next meal.  I lost the need to put food first all day, every day.  Most importantly, I lost the need to feel happy or sad just because of  what I did or didn't eat that day.  Well, it's like 75 percent better :)  I am also better about not being so self conscious about my body.  It took me this long to realize that my weight does not dictate my mood, or my actions.  For the first time, this summer I went to the beach by myself and removed my over sized cover up and just enjoyed life.  I didn't care who saw me.  I don't want to look back at my life and wish I could have done this or should have done that.  I'm going to be doing it now!

 Mentally and emotionally, I have realized that I am so much more than Greg's wife, and Blayne, Connor and Dominic's mom.  I am Lori.  I've been here all along, it just took me awhile to uncover me and put me in the front.  Now that I'm back, it has changed the way I think, the way I socialize, I am a better friend, a better sister, a better mom, and a better wife.
 
I have changed, and grown so much this past year.  This blog is a big part of my transformation.  I never thought, a year ago, when I started putting my thoughts, fears, failures, and my successes in writing, that it would help me in so many areas of my life.  I've received so much support, advice and love from people, that making changes became easy, and I thank you all for that!!  I have surrounded myself with positive people, here and in life, and there is no other place to go but forward and that's exactly where I'm going.  Forward!

I have a new set of goals for this year.  Honestly, I can't remember all of mine from last year.  I made some, wrote them down, and then really never looked at them again.  I know that weight loss was top on the list.  It always is.  I just cant seem to get that right. :)  Oh well, this year I am putting them in writing, so I can actually remember them and work on them :)


Now, thinking about the "gym time" one, that is really not realistic.  There are going to be many many times that I just don't want to go, so I wont, but when I look at this later, I want to remember how passionate I was feeling about needing the gym.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, this is my starting point.  I'm hoping that I can follow through with some of these.  

There are things in my life that I wish I would have done sooner.  Things that I wish I had the courage to try, the strength to change.  But do you know what?  It's never to late to change.  It's never to late to try something new.  It is a brand new year, and with my new found attitude and outlook on who I am, I can do anything!

Happy New Year!

xoxo